Not Feeling Christmas-y

I usually LOVE the holiday season. Everything about November through January 1st, I just love. I love cooking, hosting, decorating, being creative, and spoiling family and friends. I enjoy it so much that I am usually one of the first to get my Christmas cards out and my house usually looks like Santa's workshop.

This year though, I don't love the holiday season. Thanksgiving was great, a good time with family and lots of cooking, but once it was over I was never able to get into the holiday spirit, as I usually do. I barely got my Christmas card out in time, didn't decorate the house, since we are trying to sell it, and everything seems tedious.

As I sat in a bible study, one of the ladies asked me why I wasn't more excited. I thought about it for a second and realized that it isn't just my "situation", with infertility seeming to rule out lives, but it's more than that. I realized that this year everything was a task to accomplish, not a joyful event. (And yes, I know that life is not candies and roses all the time, but the holidays were usually what I looked forward to all year.)

One of the main things I realized was different this year was the present giving, or rather "here's my shopping list". I have been given wish lists in the past, but I always tried to get something without looking at it, mainly because I wanted it to be something from ME, not from them with my money.This year, though, it feels like the year of lists with my family. We get big long lists, "shopping lists" as I like to call them, and that's what we buy. As most of the things were online, I went on amazon, and a few other sites, typed in the items, added them to my cart, gave my credit card info.... and just like that I was done. There was no browsing to find that perfect gift. There was no thinking about what someone would like. It was just fulfilling a grocery list.

Of course, I participated in the list giving, as I was asked to, but after all was said and done, I felt like something was amiss. Sure I have "brown packages tied up with string," yes literally, but there was more thought put into the wrapping than the present itself.

I keep trying to think back to my childhood, growing up close to my family. I feel like we knew each other well enough to get something personal. Now I don't remember if we had "wishlists" or not, but I remember putting thought into gifts. I remember on Christmas day, watching someone open what you got them, and watching their reaction. (It was usually laughter, as we would get things that made the other happy, though sometimes we did get some weird looks. :))

I wish we could all put down our expectations, our IPads, our phones, our computers.... and just get to know one another well enough to be able to get each other something of meaning.

Now I know this year it's too late, but my challenge, to you and my self, is to not ask what someone wants next time it's their birthday, anniversary, Christmas.... Think about that person, get to know them better, buy something from the heart, or better yet! Make something special! Put a little bit of yourself, a little effort, and a lot of love. See what you can come up with.

Last thought... instead of being a shopping list of "I want this... I want that," try to get someone something they wouldn't think to ask for. Something special that they will remember years from now.

****Most of all, remember that it's not about what you get, or even what you give. It's about the ultimate gift, Jesus Christ. Yes life can be disappointing at times, but in the end, if we have Jesus, we have it all.

Think of it this way, if you died tomorrow, would you care that you didn't get ____? Or would you care if you didn't have Jesus?

(And yes, even with infertility, this is true.... If I die tomorrow, will I be upset that I haven't been able to conceive again? Or will I be focused on the fact that I'm in heaven and God is what matters?)(This is not to say I won't be upset here on earth for these things, but it means that they are things that matter "in this world")

The end of now... the beginning of the next step

Sometimes in life we come to a point where we realize things need to change, or even that maybe they won't change. Sometimes you go through both emotions at the same time.

That's where I am now. Facing the fact that I'm likely never to get pregnant,with a 4% chance of ever conceiving, while knowing I have to enjoy and be thankful for what I have, and possibly plan for adoption. I know we won't be adopting soon, since we have to first sell  our house,  then finish transitioning,  then save up the money.

I'm at the point where we have decided to stop doing fertility treatments, mainly due to the emotional stresses and financial strain it has put on our family. We have essentially stopped putting all of our efforts into trying to have another biological child. We know that if it happens it will be a miracle,  but our chances are slim to none.

With all of these emotions, we have decided to get rid of all of our baby things that we were holding onto just in case. I think we will probably sell most of our baby things and donate the ones we can't. This way at least we can use the money for Abby or our adoption fund. I know it won't be much money, but mainly it will get the constant reminders out of sight.

We will have daily reminders of what we are going through,  but hopefully one day we will learn to cope in a good way. For now there will be lots of tears, sadness and sometimes even jealousy. I pray that we will soon be able to hear pregnancy announcements, see baby shower invitations and do newborn session without feeling inadequate and hurt.

Soon I hope. Soon I pray. For today I'm just getting used to the idea that this is my reality.

What We Hear

They say to your parents,  "I love watching your family grow!" I think,  "it won't grow because of me."

They say, "children are the greatest blessing!" I think, "I got blessed once"

They say, "what are you waiting for?" I think, "I'm doing my part. It just isn't happening."

They say, "Have faith." I think, "I literally wake up praying and fall asleep praying. I believe God can, I just don't know why he chooses others instead of me."

They say, "look at all these babies!" I think, "I'll just hug my one and only closer."

She says, "mom, do I have a sister or brother? " I think, "no, mommy just isn't working right."

She says, "do you have a baby in there?" I think, "no baby, but I pray every day that God might give us a baby again."

He says, "we'll be ok no matter what comes our way." I think,  "we've already had so many trials. I feel like with this one especially I'm letting you down."

He says, "I'll love you no matter what, even if we never get pregnant." I think, "I'm not sure I can love me if I bring you, our daughter, and me, pain every time someone announces their pregnant,  or we see a big family,  or are asked to hold a baby."

I hear, "God loves you,  he knows what's best." I think, "why does he let me hurt so much, for so long, for something that is biblical. The bible instructs us to multiply... I'm trying... but he keeps saying no."

Selling Our House Pt 1

Well at least I hope there is a part two ;) Here's to praying for a speedy sale!

We finally, after months of debating if we should or not, met with our realtor and signed all the paperwork!

Of course before that, we de-cluttered the whole house. Thankfully we were able to store A BUNCH of stuff at my in-laws house, so now we are left with only what we use every day, so basically just basic furniture and our clothes. (Plus Abby's toys....) I never realized how much clutter we had in the house. I really didn't realize how little of what we have we use on a day-to-day basis. Of course now that the house is empty, well basically, it seems a lot bigger!

Here are just a few of the pictures from the house, post de-clutter, gardening, carpet washing, etc...

 

So glad we re-did the front! You can actually see the house!

 

I can't believe that just yesterday, all of our clutter had gathered in this area to be moved!

 

Yes I still have my fall decorations, well some of them. I just had to keep it feeling "home-y."

 

Without all of the junk on the counter!... wait what? we have a counter!!

 

This was probably the most shocking transformation. I would show the before but it's thoroughly embarrassing. ;) Seriously! We have never seen our bedroom look so....well so empty!

 

 

Oh... and our bathroom! Goodness! Now I want to take a bath.... if only I didn't have to clean it after ;)

 

Empty man-cave :(

 

Abby's room.... I seriously had to kick her out to vacuum it and take a picture really quickly!

 

Same with the play-room.. ;)

Freak-Out!

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and helo you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand"
-Isaiah 41:10

Can you tell I've been freaking out lately. I feel like with everything going on in my life, everything I think about, everything I do, the first thing I do is worry. Call it what you will: "worry wart," "anxious," "wound too tight".... you get the picture. I have been the opposite of this verse.

Today was flooded with emotions. From thinking I would see the doctor to finally get my medication, to hearing I was missing blood work-ups and would have to make them up, then to be called with a rough estimate of the costs for one "treatment cycle", today has thrown me a few curveballs.

When I started to feel absolutely overwhelmed today, I drew myself a warm bath and just prayed, well mainly cried. I asked God that he would lead me to make the right decisions. I prayed that I wouldn't go through costly treatments and medications if they aren't going to work. After a while of praying and crying out to God, praying for his peace about the situation, my mom called.

I dried my face and answered the phone with a forced, cheery hello. I'm not sure if she could hear through my charade,  or if she was just asking a simple question that I answered with too much details,  but she asked how my week has been. Of course I started saying it was rough, "but I'm ok." Then when she asked why it was rough, and well, then I lost it. I started to tell her all of my worries about what has been plaguing my mind and my life, of all of the medications and treatments that I was concerned about.

My mom was on her way back home from helping my sister-in-law out with her newborn and her 2 year old. Probably because she doesn't want me to feel inferior because of my situation,  she kept saying, "but at least you have Abby..." I know she meant it as comforting, but I couldn't help thinking, "yeah but it doesn't make it hurt less. If anything, I feel unable to grieve because I have to put up a front of happy, bubbly, cheery mom." Sometimes I feel like people see me as selfish or greedy for "wanting more, more, more..." I wish I could say that I know what the answer to this is, but I just don't.  I have a desire to have more children.  I hope, and pray, that it's a God given desire and not a selfish one.

At this point, with the treatment plan the doctors have set out for me, I know there is a deadline.  If I'm not pregnant by a certain date, there isn't much the doctors can do, other than ivf. The idea that after all of this time, I am standing at the end of a hallway, standing infront of three doors, hearing that one of them will open soon, just freaks me out. I'm praying that the door to open will leave me pregnant, then holding a new baby... All the while,  I can't help wondering about the other doors. What if the door that I hear unlocking is a door that leads me to treatments without results, or no treatment at all? I know if I get pregnant I'd be ecstatic! But what about these other doors? I know that any door that doesn't lwad me to being pregnant means I won't have any more kids, at least not for a long while, if at all.

I feel like when I'm hit with bad news, I have to save the emotions for nap time. One day Abby walked in on me bawling my eyes out, and she became very concerned.  From that day on, she has started asking me if I'm sad, or pretending her animals are sad, always comforting and saying, "it's ok. I got you. No one will get you." Though I love that at 2 and a half she has such a kind heart, I don't want to make her go through my sadness with me. For this reason,  I cry when I'm alone. I cry when she's asleep and there is no way she will see my pain. Unfortunately,  being that she's a busy bee, and that I still have to cook, clean, and be a good "happy and supportive" wife, I don't have much time to reflect and figure out my feelings.

This is a main reason I love that technology has allowed me to write down my experiences, mainly for my therapeutic purposes. I do pray that because I have gone through this, that I will be able to use my "test and make it [my] testimony." I've quoted John Piper on here before, in his sermon in which he says that our suffering isn't meaningless. He says, "it's doing something.  It's not meaningless.  Of course you can't see what it's doing." I have to remind myself daily that through all of our trials, God has a plan. If we strive to always face our troubles with our faith and God's will in mind, John Piper says, "it is working for you an eternal weight of glory."

So now, as I get ready to start a weekend filled with opportunities to worry, I remind myself that God is with me. Because he is there, he has a plan, and I can rest assured that he will give me the strength I need to go on. No matter what door is opened, no matter the outcome, he is already there,  waiting to help me through it. So I don't need to worry. Honestly,  I will probably still find myself worrying at some point, but I can tell myself to cut it out, because I know in the end, its God's perfect and amazing plan.

Mainly for Me

"Life doesn't always go the way we plan, but at least HE has a plan"

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
-Jeremiah 29:11

As you may have noticed by now, this blog isn't about one thing, well it is but it's not. This isn't just a craft blog, or a cooking blog, or even a blog for my kids to never read. This blog is about everything I go through.  So yes, some days I cook something crazy and write about, and some days I find cool crafts, or fun activities. Other days though,  I might write about a song I heard or an experience I had.

This post is about the latter. It's about my current struggle with wanting so desperately to have another child. As you may know, it's been a long hard struggle, but not as long, nor as hard, as many others who face infertility.

This post is mainly therapeutic for me. It's mainly so that I can figure out how I truly feel, and maybe learn what God wants me to see.

For a little over a year, I've been charting, testing, retesting, checking, seeing doctors.... The list goes on, and frankly it's overwhelming just thinking about it. Every month that went by, every doctor that had a different theory, every confusing result, it was all devastating. It's been hard on my health,  my marriage,  and countless other relationships.

One good thing about all of this is that, though it has been hard on my marriage, it has made us communicate more effectively. It has made us emotionally depend on each other like we have never done before. We have been through job losses, money issues,  family issues... but nothing has made us be this honest and open with each other.

So why now? Why am I writing about this tonight, as my husband snores beside me, as he rests for his long day tomorrow, which will end with him at a men's retreat, and as my daughter sleeps upstairs? I'm writing this for a few reasons.

The first, as I said, is because it's therapeutic. The second is because a recurring theme that I've been running into lately is that we need to be honest with our lives. No matter how alone you feel, someone has been there and might be able to help you,  and someone might be in your situation now, and you may be able to help them. The third reason is because I have to call my doctor tomorrow to get another test done so that I might start a new medication, that will hopefully help.

The oddest thing to me is that for the past year +, every time I was due to start my cycle I would pray that I wouldn't see any red. I would pray until I cried, until my face hurt. This time, since seeing this last doctor, I've been put on a few new medications, one of which I was to stop as soon as I got a positive result from my hsg (a test to see if you are "open" down there). Once you stop taking this medication, it "should" be like a system reboot. As soon as you start something that even resembles a cycle you go in to take one last test before beginning treatment.

Once I got my positive test results Monday,  I stopped taking the medication. Since then, I've been begging God to let me see red. (??? Right?) So today,  when I finally saw it, I ran upstairs and hugged my husband jumping up and down! (Completely the opposite reaction that I've had in the past year)

It was a confusing reaction, to say the least! I almost didn't know how to react!

Well anyways,  I'm going to eagerly wait for 8am to call the doctor to see him Asap. I hope with all of my heart that God is going to use this new medication to bring us the possibility of more children. 

I am one of those people that, for years,  if I struggled with something,  I just had to "deal with it without meds." One day, when my husband and I were dating and I was struggling with depression,  he put it this way, "the kind of depression you have is a medical condition. If you had cancer, would you refuse chemo and just deal with cancer? Of course not!" After that, I agreed,  after struggling with depression for 10 years, to finally see a doctor and get some help.

I still struggle with the fact that God CAN heal us without medicine, but sometimes he uses the medications and doctors to bring us his healing. I think that's why I have been so stubborn and not taken medications for infertility before recently. I was just so sure that I was going to have an "Abraham and Sarah" kind of miracle,  where against all odds and everyone saying it can't be done, we would get pregnant again. Without medicine! (Did you notice that exclamation point? That's how stubborn I was.)

Well anyways,  tomorrow marks the beginning of my official treatment with infertility medications. We will see if God will bless us in curing my issues with infertility through these medications. At least now we know that by January we will know whether we are adding to our family biologically or not. (I can only do 6 rounds of this medication, and we have decided that if it hasn't worked by January we will need a break before taking the last 2 rounds)

Thanks for reading my all-over-the-place post. Like I said, it was mainly for me, but if it can help someone I might as well be honest.

"Life doesn't always go the way we plan, but at least HE has a plan"

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
-Jeremiah 29:11

Bubbles, Bubbles, and More Bubbles!

Some days I wonder why I still live in Houston, but then I think of the free events that are all over town for me to do with my kiddo. One such event is Discovery Green's Toddler Tuesday. Among many other pragrams that Discovery Green offers, Toddler Tuesday is the one we attend regularly. Each week they have a different theme, usually including a character, such as Elmo or Spongebob.

This last Tuesday was foam/bubble pit and Spongebob Squarepants. Let me just say that Abby absolutely LOVED it!!! The only downfall was the long lines for everything, but at the end of it all, it was totally worth it.

She was a little unsure of course about Spongebob, but she was ok to take a picture as long as I held her. :)

 

After Hearing a story and meeting Spongebob, we headed over to the foam pit. The line was long, but nothing good company can't fix. We also met some nice people in line, reminiscing about past Toddler Tuesdays.

 

THEN, we got into the pit!!!!

 

The bubbles got so high at one point that Abby was completely covered and I had to reach down and grab her up out of the bubbles. (Hence the bubbles head to toe;))

 

After being covered with bubbles, it was time to rinse off.

 

 

All in all, a good day :)

You're Never Too Old To Sing In The Rain

 

I just love the song by Gene Kelley, "Singing in the Rain!" To me, it represents the possibility of seeing the sun shining through the dark rainy clouds. It has also been the perfect song for my daughter lately, because it has been raining every day for a while now.

My daughter was never scared of thunder or rain until she saw one of her friends get scared by it. For a while after that she began asking why the thunder was so loud, and why it was scary. In order to comfort her, we told her it was nothing to be afraid of, that God waters the plants and the trees to help them live, and the thunder is one way that we know there is rain.

Enter "Singing In The Rain." We have listened to the original version, along with the version from Glee, in which they mash-up the original and "Umbrella." Needless to say, she absolutely went crazy for both! She loves the idea, as do I, of just going out and getting soaking wet, all the while laughing and singing "in the rain." Now every time she hears thunder, or rain on the windows, she screams, "I want to go singing in the rain!"

This morning when we woke up, it was pouring. I mean "get your boots" and "find the boat" pouring! So we decided that since my husband was finally home with us on a Saturday morning, that we would all go out and dance and play in the rain. In our pajamas, with our neighbors probably thinking we are crazy, we were laughing and dancing in the rain. (Of course my 2 year old was screaming "singing in the rain! singing in the rain!" over and over again!)

It was one of the moments that you just let go. You realize that though you may look crazy to others, you may even look crazy to yourself, you are having a blast. I thought about how I hope that it's moments like these that my kiddo remembers, moments of pure joy and silliness.

Of course after running around the neighborhood, splashing in puddles, kicking street water at each other, we had to take serious showers. Well, in good old fashioned "Never a Dull Moment" style, our dogs ran away while we were having fun. So while my daughter and I showered, my husband got in his truck, while it was still pouring rain out, to search for the dogs. As he hadn't found them yet, after we were done showering, my kiddo and I jumped in my car and joined him in the search. Needless to say, we found the dogs, who, though soaking wet, appeared to be having a grand old time having their own rendition of our shenanigans.

Though life is never predictable, never forget that sometimes, you just need to let loose and go "singing and dancing in the rain!"

Is It My Will Or HIS?

I think if the world were to rewrite Philippians 4:8 it would read something like this: "...whatever is popular, whatever is cool, whatever feels right, whatever is temporary, whatever is a fad, whatever will get others to notice you- if anything is selfish or brings you praise- think about such things."

Are you put back? Put off even??? You should be!!! Don't live like this! This is the absolutely wrong way to look at life. It's how the devil wants us to look at life.

I was thinking the other day about how many times we go about our lives mistaking our will for God's true will. How often are our thoughts overwhelmed by our own wants and desires, which can make us unable to differentiate our own "small voice" and God's. Sometimes we can even "feel led" to do something, only later to realize that it was our own ideas, not God's will.

One of the main things that I have found when thinking about this dilemma, is to think, "is this desire biblical?" I like to consult the actual Philippians 4:8 to properly answer this question.

"Finally, Brother and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things."

If I can read this verse and answer "Yes" to all of the qualities mentioned, then I ask one last thing. I always try to ask myself if this is just something that has been invading my mind, or if this is something that God has placed on my heart.

One thing that I had to really think about in this way recently, is adoption. I feel like everywhere I turn lately someone is talking about adoption. There are conferences, seminars, pamphlets, and signs. I had been thinking about adoption a lot because of all of the attention in the Christian community. One lady said it this way, "it's the cool thing to do nowadays. Adoption is the new "it" thing it seems, especially within the church." I agree with her. Though I think adoption is a wonderful thing, perfectly illustrated in the Bible, I think that many people go into it because "it's the cool thing to do."

(I want to make it perfectly clear, before I go on, that some things, like adoption, can be done selfishly and still help someone. I strongly believe, though, that God should be the one to give you the conviction for adoption, not society, because when the fad passes, you don't want to have any doubts about what you did.)

I very much admire those that are convicted to adopt. As I've said before, the Bible is the perfect illustration of adoption. God has "adopted" each and every believer as his own sons and daughters. He didn't have to, and he had to sacrifice a lot more than a couple thousand dollar. He sacrificed his own Son so that we could be adopted by him, and live with him for all of eternity.

As for me, I think that when I've thought about adoption, I mainly thought about being able to give a child a home. What has stopped me, at least for now, is the cost. For us, in this stage of our lives, a minimum of $30,000 is a lot of money, money that we don't have just laying around. When I think of how concerned I am with the money aspect of it, that's when I realise that I'm not ready. If I went with just that verse, I would say "Yes, of course it's all those things!" In reality, it would be driven by a desire to please and stifled by uncertainty about money. The concern for the amount of money it would cost is what makes me feel like it is not right, at least not now, for us.

I've heard it said about tattoos that if you don't know what you want to get, you aren't ready. I like to look at other things in life this way too. When looking at houses, if I can't look at a house and know what I would do and how I would live in it, it's not right for me. If I can't look at adoption and know, without a doubt in my mind, that I would be able to love that child with all of my heart, as much a as biological child, never thinking, "you aren't mine", then I'm not ready.

I admire, as I said before, people who go through the adoption process. I hope that one day, God might mold my heart in such a way that I might adopt, or have a part in a child's life, who is not my own, in such a way to impact them for Christ.

God knows my heart, and He knows yours! Let Him guide you. Live your live by Philippians 4:8, the biblical version, God's holy word!

7 Weeks of Travel, A Wedding, and We're Still Going

This summer has just been insane! We have been traveling just about every weekend, whether to Austin, 3 hours away, Louisiana, 2 hours away, or North Carolina, a nice 3.5 hr plane ride away, and it's been oh so ever eventful.

The first few weekends were to birthday parties, baby showers, our anniversary getaway (just one night), and traveling in town with my parents for Labor Day weekend. The thing that sticks out the most from those weekends has to be when my mom and I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower while the guys too the kids to the circus. On the way there, my daughter got really upset at her stuffed Minnie Mouse, which by the way is about her size. She was yelling at it, so my husband asked her what was wrong. She looks at him and says, "she's not listening to me!" So he asked her if she needed to have a talk with her Minnie, to which she shook her head yes. She proceeded to say "One, Two, do I need to get to three!" Then she turned Minnie over on her knee and said, "I'm gonna bonk you!" The funniest part, though, is when she started spanking Minnie!

This past weekend, we traveled up to North Carolina for my dear cousin's wedding. This was a family reunion mixed with a whole lot of love for the couple we were celebrating. The wedding, which had a Rapunzel flare to it, was beautiful! Everything was a fairytale for these two love birds. The cousin that got married is very dear to my heart, as we had spent many hours throughout the years talking about everything under the sun. I have probably shared with him more things than most people, not to mention I've probably gone shopping with him more than my girl cousins!

Anyways, so we've survived all this traveling, mainly to be able to say we did it. Of course throughout this time we have had a bunch of hurdles thrown our way in our personal lives, so sometimes it was good to have a distraction.

As I'm typing this now, I look around my house at bags half unpacked, still left over from our trip last weekend. A few hours away, my parents are with my sister-in-law and my brother as they welcome their 2nd son into their lives. Of course, over here, my daughter is no doubt wreaking havoc on the upstairs of our house, as she is just waking up from her nap, for which she skipped lunch voluntarily.

Needless to say, my life is a little crazy right now.

One thing that I have found that has saved my sanity in all this craziness, has been Romans 12:12. I shared it with a friend this morning, as she has been going through similar dramas in her life as I have in mine.

Here is what it says:
Be joyful in Hope, Patient in Affliction, Faithful in Prayer.

God please bless all those who are in need of you today. Please give me comfort in knowing that you have a plan, even though I can't see it now. I pray that you give me Peace as I wait on your answer, that I might not be anxious. Please help me to fully trust in your promise that you know what's best. Please be with all those that are longing for a child today, as they watch other's bringing new life into this world. God show me you are here and that you hear me today.

Amen

Creativity and Fairytales

My daughter is obsessed with princesses! Everything from tiaras to jewels, even princess stickers and movies, it all has to do with a princess.

So as her birthday is approaches, I have decided to throw her a fairytale party. As I was looking through Pinterest and other websites, I decided to get a head start on figuring out the details.

One thing I thought would be fun is a play castle.

I had seen some castles that you can buy pre-made at hobby lobby, but I wouldn't be me if I took that route first. So I decided to figure out how to make one on my own. I looked up different materials I thought could be helpful, but I settled on tri-fold presentation boards.

I started by laying the boards, white side down. I folded one flap so it made a 90 degree angle with another board. I glued the flap properly, then repeated on the other side with the thirds board.

 

 

After I finished glueing the boards together, I took a piece of fabric and glued it to each open end and folded the flaps backwards.

 

 

As you can see from above, I cut some windows in the castle. These windows also allowed me to make the castle more "complete."

 

 

(she wanted to be in the shot)

 

Once we got it all glued together, we decided to put it upstairs in her playroom. Here's what happened next. :)

 

 

 



She wanted all her toys in her castle.

 

Then decided daddy needed to have "lunch" in the castle too.

 

 

I remember when he use to make fun of guys when they would have tea parties with this daughters. ;)

Angel Agirre, this one is for you!

(Next time I'll make sure he's wearing a hat, jewelry and nail polish!)

 



Idle Hands are the Devils Playthings..

Well, maybe not the devil, in my case, but definitely mischief!

I have to say life with a two year old is never dull! My kiddo woke up in a bad mood Monday morning, but I thought things would get better once we went to daycare for an hour or so. Not so much!

She didn't want to be dropped off, and when I picked her up her teachers, who have never said she has had anything but a great day, informed me she had a rough time. After hearing this news, I decided to take her home, give her lunch and let her nap off her bad mood.

Sounds simple right!

Once we got home, I let her go upstairs as I put some food in the oven. In the time it took me to go to the restroom and check on the food again, she had successfully emptied a toothpaste in a Tupperware, filled it with water, taken the vapo rub out of the bathroom and mixed it all together. After this concoction was made, she decided to smear it all over herself, her whiteboard easel, her toys, and a few stuffed animals. !!!!

After I got it all cleaned up and fed her, I put her down for a nap. I thought I would restart my batteries by taking a nap as well, to see if we could "start the day over."  As I was in and out of dreamland for the next hour or so, I kept an ear out for any sign of toddler movement from upstairs. I must have dozed off, because, when I opened my eyes, she was standing in front of me.

The first thing she said to me, which should have tipped me off immediately, was that she peed her pants. The problem is that while her skirt was soaking wet, her underwear were dry. !! So I smelled the skirt and it wreaked of Windex. Of course I ran upstairs to see what I could find.

This time, she had decided to empty a Windex bottle on herself, toys, and the carpet. I think she must have figured since I was cleaning up her mess that she would try and be helpful??

Let's just say this was a stressful day!

Not Your Average S'more!

I love when we get invited to someone's house and they, ahem, agree to let me bring dessert, or really anything for that matter. 

Well my dearest friend is having us over tomorrow and I offered to bring dessert. I asked whst kind she would like and she, half jokingly,  said "s' mores!" So, challenge accepted!

But I can't just bring smore ingredients.. no no. I have to make something unique! Something you dont have every day.

Hense my newest dessert! Cup O S' mores!

So get your cracker crumbs, melted chocolate, and your marshmallow cream.

Family Adventures

We were trying to find a way to spend time together as a family where our kiddo could actually enjoy herself and we could too. Enter San Antonio!

We decided to book a hotel... well I say hotel because that's what I meant to book.. hehe. Anywho, it ended up being a motel, which I was less than thrilled about, but one thing can't ruin one of our vacations.;)

We all LOVED Sea World! The first couple days we just stayed in the Sea World side, but then, on the last day, we decided to venture into the water park!!

Needless to say, the entire trip was amazing. We all had a blast and are definitely going back again!

For the never a dull moment part... lol... scroll down ;)

Ok.. so never a dull moment.. hehe...
So my kiddo had been working on staying dry at night, but needless to say being in a strange and on an air matress, she ended up peeing her bed twice in one night! So the next morning, with two sets of peed linens in hand, my hubby went to a laundramat. But it doesn't end there...lol!  My hubby walks into this laundramat, no experience whatsoever..lol... So he sees detergent on every machine, so he thinks its free for his use. hehe. so he starts to pour, and the lady that works there comes screaming out saying it's not for him, not to use it. hehe... so he goes and buys his own soap and loads everything up. He cranked up the machine, but not all the way. lol... he sat there for 10 minutes just watching it, wondering why nothing was happening.  Finally the lady comes by and tells him its not turned all the way. After she fixed it he ended up telling her about why he was there.

Don't make it an idol, bring it to God

"Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it."

I love this song by Jimmy Needham. The first time I heard it was in a Zumba class at my church. The instructor told us to listen to the words, and that's what I did. I just listened. 

This post wont be long, mostly because I just wanted to share this song.

One thing that I've been thinking about, though, is that if you take all of your needs and wants to God in prayer, then you are putting him first. Your first thought, when you begin to think of a want/need, should be a prayer, asking God to have his will be done.

Here is the rest of the song. Read it closely and pray on it.

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that's the measure that it takes to crush the idols.
Chuck the pews and all the decorations too
Until the congregations few then have revival.
Tell your friends that this is where the party ends
until you're broken for your sins you can't be social.
Then seek the Lord and wait for what he has in store
and know that great is your reward and just be hopeful

Cause you can sing all you want to.
Yes you can sing all you want to
you can sing all you want to
And don't get me wrong, worship is more than a song.

Take a break from all the plans that you made
And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper.
Beg Him please to open up his mouth and speak
And pray for real upon your knees until they blister.
Shine the light on every corner of your life
Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open.
Then read the word and put to test the things you've heard
Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken.

Cause you can sing all you want to.
Yes you can sing all you want to
you can sing all you want to
And don't get me wrong, worship is more than a song.

Anything I put before my God is an idol.
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol.
Anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol.
Anything that I give all my love is an idol.
We must not worship something that's not even worth it.
Clear the stage and make some space for the one who deserves it.

Cause I can sing all I want to.
Yes I can sing all I want to
I can sing all I want to
And still get it wrong, worship is more than a song.

And you can sing all you want to.
Yes you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
But don't get me wrong, worship is more than a song.

The Short Story

So my last post was LONG! Phew! Once I got rolling I just felt the words coming and I couln't stop.

Anyways, so I also wanted to talk about the experiences we had today for the fourth!

We had a great time at the Eleanor Tinsley Park Freedom Over Texas celebration! It was a blast. It was hot, but it was a lot of fun.

Abby finally got her face painted, we got free smoothies, listened to music, saw magic shows, got fake henna, she bounced in the bouncy castle, and so much more! Here are a few of the highlights!