Love Languages and Disapointments?

Well Yes! The two often go together... isn't that sad?!

If you haven't heard of "Love Languages" before, let me introduce you to them. (Even if you have heard of them, it's always nice to review and re-evaluate)

-Words of Affirmation: this love language if for those who need to be reassured that they are valuable, beautiful, nice, successful..... Basically they need people to tell them nice things.

-Acts of Service: if this is your love language, your husband doing the dishes and putting away the laundry is what does it for you. You feel the most loved when people are physically doing something for you.

-Gifts: These are the people that are the most often disapointed. This love language means that you feel most loved when you recieve something tangible. The issue is, most people whose love language is "Gifts," are disapointed if the gifts they receive have no thought put into them, aka gift cards and  checks.

-Quality Time: This type of person feels like you love them when you spend your time with them. They crave the attention of intellectual intimacy.

-Physical Touch: With this love language, you want that physical connection. It's not just sex. ;) it's also a hug, a kiss, a back rub, a stroke... any physical connection. Many people who associate with this love language don't feel a connection with someone unless they physically touch them and are touched back.


What I love most about love languages is that most people are not just one. I, for example, am a combination of all to a certain extent. And that's normal!

To find out what your MAIN love language is, you have to think about which would make you feel most loved, compared to which, when done, makes you feel nice, but isn't necessary.

So for me, this is how they rank:
1. Affirmation- I need to hear that I'm doing a good job, that my husband likes how I look, how I cook, my mothering......
2. Gifts- Getting a gift that is truly thoughtful is very special to me. It doesn't happen often, but when a gift is given without me hinting, or being asked and telling, that's when it's the most special.
3. Physical Touch- I can tell if I haven't hugged my husband or kissed him in a while, because when a stranger touches my arm while speaking with me, it almost feels strange. But when I am touched, I am more content in my everyday life.
4. Quality Time- To me, if you are willing to give up your time to be with me, not as a chore or something to take up time, that tells me that you want to be around me and enjoy my company.
5. Acts of Service- I love when my husband helps around the house. (And depending on the way my week has gone and how the house looks, this might move up the list)

So what about disappointment? Well, each love language makes us vulnerable. It makes us realize what we need and what we want. The thing is that once you realize that, that's the moment you because vulnerable to being disappointed when your needs aren't met.

For example, if you are in need of affirmations, but you rarely hear an uplifting word from those who you cherish most, you are very likely to find yourself unhappy. I mentioned above an example of gifts.

The important thing to remember is that you are the only one who is truly able to know your love languages, and their order. In order to have your needs met, you MUST communicate them with the people you cherish and want to feel cherished by.

I'm as guilty as anyone in not letting others know what "does it for me."

So go out there and tell them so you can be taken care of!