But this wonderfulness came with a price too. Sure I was able to bombard my husband less about everything I had going on, mainly because I had friends to talk with, but I was bombarded with "how a husband should be." I would come home and find him resting after a long day at work, and I would complain to him that he wasn't doing this, that and the other. I was hearing in all of my bible studies how these amazing women were supporting their amazing men.
I was also told things like, "a typical man...." That in itself is was unfair, mainly because my hubby isn't typical. He is that guy that has a great relationship with his parents, and we see them at least once a week. He's that guy that comes home and just wants to play with our daughter until bed-time, and then would rather play video games than "talk about life." He's that guy that is just pretty laid back, and there isn't much that really gets to him.
This is where working actually improved our marriage. Since I'm working, I have less time to attend every bible study offered. While I loved being poured into by wise women, I think there must be a balance. Now I only have time for Sunday bible studies and our Wednesday night bible studies. This in itself has allowed me to "compare" him less and appreciate him more.
When I say appreciate, I mean really, really appreciate him. I am able to come home and see that he is helping out around the house. I am able to come home and appreciate every conversation I have with him, since I am no longer able to see him as much. We are both able to appreciate each other and all that we do for one another. Now instead of comparing him to pastors, ministers and missionaries, I am surrounded by women whose husbands are coaches, teachers, and business men.
I've heard it said that it's hard being a working mom, and believe you me it is! But it's also harder to be a husband to a mom who works, as opposed to a mom who stays at home. Sure the credit card gets used less, since I don't have time to shop like I use to, but when I stayed home I was able to cook dinner and clean. Now, he still works all day, but now he also drops our daughter off at school, half, if not more, of the time he picks her up, and he helps out a lot more with house chores, simply because I don't have the time to do them.
Working has allowed me to appreciate him more, and appreciate his hard work. It has also made me rely on him being awesome at who he is for our family. I am able to compare him less and appreciate all that he does more.
And I really think it's made him appreciate me more also. Even though I don't make nearly as much as he does, I make it possible for us to send our daughter to school and for use to get closer to buying our next house sooner. He also sees how hard working is for me, since I work far from where we live, and since I don't get to see our daughter, or help her with everything she is going through. He also knows that I wish I could get home before him and have the apartment tidy and dinner ready.
So while I loved being able to stay home, and hopefully I will be able to stay home again if ever we have other kids, I am learning to appreciate the challenges that come with working so that we can better our marriage.
