When Your Power Steering Runs Out!

No my car didn't run off the road. ;)

With that said, mainly for family and friends who know me all to well, I'm talking about when our life feels like it's out of control and it's hard to correct our path.

As I sat in MOPS today, listening to Shannon Bloodworth, she spoke about how we are so often faced with the enemy telling us lies and trying to veer us in the wrong direction. It's so hard to say "NO!" and fight back. Something she said that I loved was that we need to fight with "the blood of Christ" on our side. We need to constantly fight against the lies and deceits of the enemy with the power that we are given through Jesus's blood.

As she spoke, full of energy and spirit, she told us example after example of how we are so often confronted with a decision to put up our boundaries and protect our minds and our lives, or fall into the enemy's traps.

I got the image in my head of being in a car and realizing I'm on the wrong street. The problem is, my power steering is out! In order to turn my car so I can return to the right street, I have to force my steering wheel with all my might.

I feel like so often I get in a place in my life that I don't want to be in. Whether it's believing the enemy's lies that I am not good enough, or worrying about outcomes, it's so hard to realize that you have to stop and use all of your might to pray for help to change your thinking.  I know I have to just stop myself in my tracks sometimes and tell myself, "Be still, trust and let God do his work. You are good enough. You are enough because you are in Him. You are loved."

I shared with my group today that through our journey of infertility I have always wanted to be in control. I have always taken tests and checked my results over and over again, googling what the results might mean. (Since I am totally medically trained and know what everything means... or not) I wanted to be in control because I wasn't trusting that God knew best. Even though I know that come August, whatever happens will happen, and if nothing happens we will just plan our life as a party of three, I have had a really hard time truly trusting and letting go.

I always think of being still, letting go, as if I'm holding on to a rope and I have to let go, trusting that God will catch me. The truth is that I'm letting go, but not trusting. My mental image of what my emotions look like is often a person falling off a cliff, flailing and freaking out the whole way down. Of course I'm not actually falling off a cliff, but emotionally I'm absolutely flailing around. I've let go of my control, but I'm constantly grasping to try to reach any other rope, which is causing me to stress out, and flail, the whole way. I find myself constantly going back to worrying about "what will happen if..."

So friends, I'm finding myself having to consciously make myself believe that God has me. I have to remind myself that it may not be my plan, but God does know best.

God must have a sense of humor, because every time I'm about to learn something, he gives me something to apply it to. This week, as I opened my bible to find our verse for the week, I landed on Hebrews 11:1.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (NIV)

Have faith. Faith that God can. Faith that God knows best. Faith that God loves us. Faith that he has a plan and he hears us.

So have faith, and pray for the strength to veer away from where you shouldn't be, and strength to face the enemy with the truth that God is sovereign.