Finally!!
I struggled for years, and probably still will to a certain extent, with craving "the next big thing." Whether it was a boyfriend, marriage, kids (or more kids), a new house..... I always wanted to "keep moving forward." I think this fear was mostly out of not wanting to ever move backwards, or really even to sit still. Usually, it's the moments you find yourself sitting still, in the quiet, that you realize the things that aren't the way they should be. Those are the moments you realize that you may be in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, but the problem is you.
I came to this realization a little while ago, throughout our journey of craving to add to our family. We were seeing others whom we love add to their families and experience that joy that we crave so much. We wished and prayed with all we had to be able to join them. In that moment, I realized that maybe there was a reason I didn't have a July baby, or an August baby, or a September baby..... I realized that for some reason, that I may never know, God wanted us to wait.
With today being July 4th, the Independence Day of the USA, I found myself thinking about all the things that I need to declare independence from, the things and people I am truly thankful for, and that God is in control.
I wasn't born in the USA. I moved here from Canada when I was 11. Since that tme, I lived in Dallas with my parents until I went off to college in Houston. In Houston I met my husband, father of our beautiful daughter. I never envisioned myself in Houston, or in Texas for that matter. I always had dreams of moving back up north, to New York maybe. I wanted to be an event planner. When I saw parties, I didn't see the celebrities, I saw table clothes, flowers, the food, venues.... Though I went to college for event management, originally thinking I would end up in New York planning events, after graduating with that degree, I also got certified to teach.
I have no dillusions about a future in New York. I married a born and raised Houstonian who doesn't ever envision moving much more north than Colorado. I am a stay at home mom, and I love it. I get to watch our daughter grow into a wonderful, special, smart, beautiful girl.
I am so thankful that my dad got moved to Dallas, even though it was a hard transition at times. I'm thankful that I met my husband and that we have the life we do, even though my event planning is now reserved for birthday parties and baby showers. I am finally thankful for all the experiences that I have gone through in my life. I found that each experience, though some were hard, has taught me so much and has allowed me to meet people that have blessed me and my family immensely.
I'm proud to be a mom. I'm proud to be a wife. I'm proud to be a friend to those I call the best. I'm proud to be where we are, knowing that each day brings new experiences and, with those, new lessons.
And today I also discovered something about our city. I have though for years that Houston was just filled with people who would rather depend on others than work for themselves. I was wrong. Sure there are many people like that in this city, as there are in all major cities, but there are also a multitude of people who will do anything to survive. I'm not talking about begging on the corner instead of accepting help to find a job. I'm talking about people, who on the the 4th of July, instead of being at barbeques and parties find ways to make money. I saw people thinking today. I saw people doing what many people pay to learn about and are never able to actually do. They thought. They thought of supply and demand. They thought of economics, of the basic needs and those we "splurge" on.
What am I talking about? I'm talking about the people I saw today that went to Wal-Mart and bought a pack of water bottles and parked their car on the side of the road where they knew people would walk on to get to festivities. They sold their bottles for $1 each. If you buy a pack of 24 bottles for $2.50, you just made a profit of $21.50 per case!
That's just one example of the power of thought I saw today. I thought, "how appropriate! Americans showing that they CAN in a society filled with CAN'T." I see countless people begging for money everyday. I know that times are hard, trust me. I also know that there are places that want to help homeless people to get their lives back on track. What I saw today with the people charging $20 per car to park on their piece of dirt, and $1 water bottles, is that people CAN. People CAN build themselves from nothing.
We are so blessed that we live in a country of opportunity. And say what you will about the President and all of our elected officials. I say to you that any man, can do anything, if he truly puts all of his mind, soul and heart into it.
I'm proud, and finally ok with where I am today. That doesn't mean I don't look forward to some things. That just means that I am not going to be miserable until I get whatever is next, because I know that it's a pattern. I know, and saw examples today, that there are possibilities out there.
What is your possibility? Are you just sitting around waiting for it, being miserable? Or are you working for it, towards it?
Do the work, reap the rewards. Do the work, reap the rewards. Do the work, reap the rewards.
I'm not crazy for typing that 3 times. I typed it 3 times because you needed to say it 3 times, or more. When you feel like you can't go on, say it. When you feel like you can't be happy until something changes, say it. And most importantly, when you are blaming God for something not "going your way", say it. If you don't try, you wont get anywhere.
God is waiting to bless you. God is waiting to help us all live our lives here on earth that we might better glorify him. That doesn't mean we will always get what you want. But that means that if you truly understand this, and believe that it's true, you will be able to find happiness in whatever you do.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the
desires and secret petitions of your heart.
Psalm 37: 4
